This may or may not be my last post in the space. I have not decided yet. If so, there will be a fresh, new landscape to occupy instead. If not, I will be an occasional poster who mostly uses LJ to lurk.
In New Zealand, it is the 7th, which makes me another year older. I've been wrapped in a blanket, staring at the oriental rug in the living room. There is a mixture of happiness and strangeness here. There is a part of me that belongs and a part that feels left behind.
The first real night back, we drank too much and headed up to the peninsula trail, a walk along a ridge that overlooks Evan's Bay and the fantastic adjacent jutting rocks. The indigo water was calm and the hills were speckled with the glittering gold of house lights. At a large house nearby a group of young guys sang intoxicated songs in Maori on the balcony, and they embraced one another and laughed. From where we stood, there was a blast of peacefulness and positive energy from all directions. I was home.
There is also the other home, and in the future there may be others still. First there is exploration, then there is integration. Then, if we are lucky, there is the experience of meaning, purpose, and peace. Then, when the tide of bliss rolls in and washes out in a new direction, we've got to stay true and simply follow it--even if its pull makes little or no sense at the time.
I don't know much. But I do know that I have had the experiences I've had, seen the things I've seen, and met the people I've met because I have faithfully followed the pull. It is a pull that has torn me from everything familiar, everyone I love, and it has caused immense turmoil to that part of me that belongs in Florida with my family. But it has also been the catalyst for a life that I am quite amazed with--a life rich with novelty, love and beauty.
Man am I thankful to be here today, in good spirits, in good health, with a loving partner and two families on opposite sides of the earth who love me. How lucky! How lucky we all are to co-exist in virtual space and interact and share information so easily. So I will take advantage of this to say: live the life you want, follow your bliss, and fill yourself with love and responsibility.
Also: turning thirty-one feels pretty good right now.